Tales From The Coop

by Radioactive Chicken Heads

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Energy, Tales From The Coop, We Are Number One, Surfin' Bird, Pox, The Curse of Frankenchicken, The Radioactive Chicken Heads: Badd Bunny Breakout OST, Growing Mold, and 2 more. , and , .

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1.
Picture if you will... Doctor Von Kluckinstein, An evil genius mastermind, Devised a scheme to bring him great wealth and glory, Formulating frankenfoods down in his laboratory. He began experiments with vegetables, Enormous in size but not quite edible. Moved on to making mutant mega-chickens But they managed to escape. That’s where the plot thickens. Kluckinstein’s plans had begun But the Chickens flew the coop. Now they’re on the run. So the mad doctor sent his minions out on a mission: Capture the missing mutants who pose as musicians. The Legion of Goons assembled and were given the task: Find the carrot and chickens and bring ‘em back to the lab. While an unsuspecting world is asleep, Gatorteeth is unleashed and evil onions creep. The robot Rabbit gets into gear. Killer Klownfish get vicious, striking fear. Hear the howl of the fowl in the dead of night. When chickens get wicked and ascend into flight. They’ve sharpened their beaks and are ready to bite. The victims of chickens are stricken with fright. Here’s a final warning, so be prepared. Proceed with caution if you dare To hear frightful stories of poultry spooks When you listen to tales from the coop!
2.
Walking in the barnyard, late last night, I saw a something strange in the pale moonlight. At that moment, I knew I wasn’t alone. I turned around to run back home. I heard a shrill squawk and then I looked back. A feathery bird gave my a lips a smack. It wasn't a kiss, it was more like a peck But I’d never expect what would happen next. I was a teenage werechicken. The changes happened so soon. Cursed with a freakish affliction That doomed me to cluck at the moon. Now, when my stomach is empty and the moon is full, I gotta do all I can just to keep my cool ‘Cause I’m sprouting a beak every fourth week. People shriek at the sight of my poultry physique. Lock me up, please. I can’t be free range ‘Cause I go in a trance and mutilate grains. I got scaley legs, might lay some eggs too Then hop up on the roof and shout “cock-a-doodle-doo!”
3.
4.
Boys and girls, listen well. I have a story I’d like to tell. Not for the fearless, not for the brave, Only for you chickens in dismay. When you see her, try not to scream, on Halloween. Her name is Wiccan Chicken. Flying high on her broom in the sky. You know the end is nigh. She’s a witch, that wicked chicken. They say she lives on a house on a hill, Covered in weeds and daffodils. Has a pointy hat, has a crooked beak. Mess with her if it’s your doom you seek. One eye green, the other blue. Cooking in her cauldron, a bubbling brew. Wait, this is it! there she goes With an incantation only she can know: “Tongue of worm and wool of cat. Fire burn with hangman's fat. Spider bones and all ten toes. Let thy potion grow from below. With these words I shall say, You will all be my slaves. Feathery-fi and cluckity-coo. Silly me, the last thing to add is you.” So take heed of this tale. If you don’t, you will grow pale. Go ahead and frolic, run amok, But when she spots you, you’ll surely be stuck In her oven for her stew Of ghouly green and goblin’s goo. Trick or treat. she’ll take your feet. It’ll give her something good to eat. “Oh, my sweet little dears. I'll bring truth to all your fears. For when my stomach starts to yearn, Your feet, I'll take to turn and churn In my pot for a scrumptious meal, Sautéed with snake and eye of eel. And by the light of the moon, I'll swiftly ride away upon my broom”
5.
Something smells fishy. It’s difficult to breathe. A terrible stench when terror strikes From the beneath the sea. Tonight, under the big top, The arena is submerged. From underwater circus tents, Vicious fish emerge. Deep down below the darkest reaches of your toilet bowl, There's Killer Klownfish. No, you will not be finding Nemo. Here they come. onward they swim. Their Fish lips in a ghastly grin, They splash and slash, Splatter, splosh and splish. Killer klownfish! No one knows where they came from. Now the world’s their aquarium. Step right up. See the sunken circus. Killer klownfish! Lurking in the sewers, Searching for a meal, Smirking at their prey With teeth that cut through steel. They drag you down to the depths Where filthy water bubbles And after you breathe your last breath, They use your bones to juggle.
6.
Bad Egg 03:17
She’s a super spy. A seductive secret agent. Look into her eyes and she will hypnotize you. Scrambles up your mind. It’s a covert operation. She will make you break, then take your information. Bad egg. She’s a bad egg. Yeah, she's a bad egg. She’s a Bad egg. Yeah, she's a bad egg. She’s a bad egg. You better run, run, run, run, run, run. She will use your love. It is all part of the mission. She will lure you in. Set the trap. She'll stab your back. Shadow in the night. You can't fight what you cannot see. Try as you might, It won't be over easy.
7.
Creeping onions make you cry. Creeping onions, I’ll tell you why. They don’t make a sound as they sneak into town. But you can smell ‘em from miles around. They’re raw and rude, Clever but crude. I mean, whoa, they really stink, dude. Creeping onions, the terrible two. Creeping onions, they’re coming for you. When the hour grows dark, they’re out in the park Causing damage to national landmarks. They’re double trouble, bulbous and fat. Watch out, we’re gonna get squashed, splat! “That’s right, y’all. These onions be creepin’ And if ya try to cut ‘em, you’ll be the one weepin.’ You’ll find only wickedness lurking within When ya peel off their layers of onion skin. There’s no escape, nowhere to run If ya step to the creeping onions.” Creeping onions, evil since birth. Creeping onions, roaming the Earth. If they try to tangle with this here vegetable, Then they’ll get mangled ’til they’re unrecognizable. I’ll toss ‘em in a vat of oil that stings. Fry ‘em up and make onion rings.
8.
Chomp 03:35
I start getting hungry down here in the swamp. Someone falls in the water and I start to chomp. I've got a mean appetite, I'll engorge you from head to feet. I'm a carnivorous crocodilian, I like to eat fresh meat. Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp! I never stop. Get too close to me and you'll become my lunch. If you make a little mistake, You're going to get munched. My teeth will slice right through your flesh Because they're razor sharp. Hide when you see something large and green Moving through the marsh. I swing my tail from side to side to get through the water. Mmmm, this fish is delicious, I'm glad that I caught her. Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp! I never stop. If you mess with me, you'll become my lunch. Don’t intrude when I'm looking for food Or you're going to get munched. Now you know, I’m the big gator And this one goes out to all of you haters. My name’s Gatorteeth, the mean green reptile, So never smile at this crocodile. I devour my meal rapidly without a knife or fork. Taken from the Everglades to the sewers of New York. When I trap you in my jaws, you’ll never get loose. I’m gonna eat some chicken and wash it down with carrot juice.
9.
There’s a monster comes a stomping ‘round late at night (Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) He’s got a face of green and an underbite (Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) You’d better start to run when you hear his chains jangle (Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) Cause he’s on the scene and he’s out to mangle (Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) Well he doesn’t use doors, doesn’t need them at all When he crashes your party, he breaks right through the wall “Bricks bad! Pizza good!” Electricity surges through his veins (Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) Spare chicken parts and an abnormal brain (Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) Stitched together with string and yarn (Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) Brought back from the dead and raised in a barn (Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) Reanimated tissue and guts Abomination of nature and such a klutz “Me break it, you buy it! Ha ha ha!” “Guitar solo….good!” Hatched from a twisted mind instead of an egg (Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) Don’t fall in his clutch or for mercy you’ll beg (Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) He's not a monster. He's just misunderstood (Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) He can't help it if his brain's no good (Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) He’ll knock over everything in his path And he smells like he’s never taken a bath “Hey, where ya going? Come back!” (Ooooooh, Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) “That’s my name!” (Ooooooh, Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) “Don’t wear it out!” (Ooooooh, Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) “OK, shut up now!” (Ooooooh, Frankenchicken, Frankenchicken) “Enough!”
10.
“I can’t believe I have to deal with you again, Are these your friends? Hey, you punks, this time you’ve really dropped the ball. Can’t fight the law. I don’t care what you have to say. Save your breath for another day. Don’t you know, crime doesn’t pay? Your rock ‘n’ roll disturbs the peace. These crimes against music must cease. License and registration please." Officer Quackly, no need to attack me. We’ll do exactly what you ask us to do. Mr. Police Duck Sir, we’re late for our show. Have some mercy and please let us go. “Hmmm, let me think about that...NO! On my way, in route to the donut shop, You made me stop. I’m going to have to take you all down to the station, For these violations. Driving over the posted speed. The Sign’s right there, look, can’t you read? And possessing illegal chicken feed. Shut your beaks, no need to shout. You’re delinquents without a doubt. Hey what’s this? your tail light’s out” Officer Quackly, we take it all back-ly. As a matter of fact-ly, you're a really cool guy. We’re sorry that we failed but we’re too young for jail. You can have this donut, i promise it’s not stale
11.
My name is Doctor Von Kluckinstein And I possess the most brilliant scientific mind. Oh, it sends shivers down my spine As I leave all other mad scientists behind, And it gives me so much elation To present to you, my greatest creations. I began with a theory and calculations, Then worked through trials and tribulations, Experiments and formulations In the study of genetic modifications. I'll begin to crank up the radiation To feed my frankenfood mutations. Yes, the plan I've hatched is genius, I swear. Twisting DNA here, splitting chromosomes there, So pay attention if you dare. People of this puny planet should prepare. My giant vegetables and my jumbo chickens Will leave the Earth screaming and kickin.' Now I must hurry because the clock is tickin.’ Tick, tick, tick, tick. Soon all of the world shall be mine. And If you can't see it, you must be blind. You may as well give up now, mankind And make way for Doctor Baron Von Kluckinstein!” Listen up, Doctor Von Kluckin-Slime. You’ve messed with the Chicken Heads for the last time But before we split, we got an axe to grind. So ya better get ready to pay for your crimes. “Not so fast, you overgrown sprout. I brought you into this world and I can take you out And as for you chickens, what does it matter? Your destiny is to be deep fried and battered.” Face the facts, doc, we outnumber you. “Au contraire mon friare, I have my own gang of goons.” Uh oh, spaghetti-o’s. maybe we spoke too soon. “Go get ‘em my minions. You know what to do”
12.
Tired of being cooped up in this lab day and night. We might be chickens but we're not afraid to fight. In a rage from being caged We got our feathers in a ruffle. Watch out Kluckinstein, ‘cause we're ready for a scuffle. R-C-H! In your face! R-C-H! You better take a step back When the chickens attack. If you think you can defeat us, then you'll be out of luck. We're angry and we're hungry and we don't give a cluck. We'll fight until we're free. They’ll be no compromising. Prepare for an all out poultry uprising.
13.
Poultrygeist 04:04
As the moon starts to rise beneath clouded skies, You recognize the cries of a bird. When you chopped off its head, You assumed it was dead. Its feathers and flesh were charred and burned. In the smoke and the flames, moaning with pain, From the ashes, the chicken head returns. You’ll be running in fright at the very sight Of this phantom fowl in flight. You can hear the wind howling its name, Poultrygeist, Poultrygeist, Poultrygeist! Look just ahead, just a floating head Swooping down upon you in the night Listen to the wind howling its name, Poultrygeist, Poultrygeist, Poultrygeist! “Yes, it is I. I am the Poultrygeist. Only a head and I ain’t got no body. I’m the Phantom of the Coop. I am dead, but no big whoop. All I’m wanting is to do some haunting”

about

TALES FROM THE COOP, the Radioactive Chicken Heads most ambitious and ridiculous album yet, contains 13 spooky songs such as "Cluck at the Moon," "Killer Klownfish," "Wiccan Chicken," "Creeping Onions," & "Poultrygeist" with beautiful cover art by Nouar and guest appearances by Dukey Flyswatter of Haunted Garage, Ronald Osbourne of Mac Sabbath, Dominque Lenore Persi of Stolen Babies, Count Smokula, Dave Klein of Agent Orange/The Ghastly Ones, Sam Hallis of Red Pony Clock/Koi Division and a collaboration with Sleepy Brown of Organized Noize/Outkast.

credits

released October 13, 2017

Produced by the Radioactive Chicken Heads, Star Mendoza, Dave Klein, & Jeff Forrest

Engineered by Dave Klein at Dave Klein Recording Additional engineering by Jeff Forrest at Doubletime, Colin Liebich at Plastic Dog, Mark Stikman, Dan Weiss, Cris Cordero, Alen Hansen, Ian Luckey, & Star Mendoza

Mixed & mastered by Jeff Forrest at Doubletime studios

Cover art by Nouar

Additional drawings & artwork by SPACETICK

Photography by Sara Aliza Mossman
Logo by Dave Castr

“Tales From the Coop,” “Wiccan Chicken,” “Killer Klownfish,” “Chomp,” “Officer Quackly,” “Dr. Kluckinstein’s Manifesto,” “RCH Fight Song,” & “Poultrygeist” by Radioactive Chicken Heads & Star Mendoza

“Cluck at the Moon,” “Creeping Onions,” & “Frankenchicken” by Radioactive Chicken Heads

“Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell

“Bad Egg” by Radioactive Chicken Heads & Sleepy Brown

Special guests:
Dukey Flyswatter: vocals on #11
Dominique Lenore Persi: vocals on #4
Count Smokula: rap on #7
Ronald Osbourne: vocals on #2
Desirae Hafer: vocals on #6 & #13
Dave Klein: vocals on #5 & #13, taiko on #3
Sam Hallis: glockenspiel on #1, #4, & #5, vocals on #5
Luis Francisco Rojos: tenor sax on #1, #5, #10, #13, soprano sax on #13 Mireya Chavez: trombone on #5 & #13
Samuel Thompson: trumpet on #5 & #13
Adam Liebreich-Johnsen: trombone on #3
Cheri Tomato & Wedgey: vocals on #9
Puke Boy: drums on #7 & #9

Thanks to: E.J. Villanueva, Criss Miller, Art Goya, Sleepy Brown, Robert Giddens, Melissa Garcia, Jim Ojala, Amber Mari, Robert Miller, Hunter Jackson, Dr. Demento, Tazy Phyllipz, Sara Mossman, Jay Mossman, Haunted Garage, Mike Odd & Rosemary’s Billygoat, Mac Sabbath, Koi Division, Safari So Goody, Death Cat, Richard Cordero, Brian Morrison, Ron Lynch, Carl Crew, Allen Cohen, Mr & Mrs. F, Buffy the Dog, Roy Knyrim, Cindy Miller-Knyrim, Ego Plum, Julie Plum, Richard Elfman, Anastasia Elfman, Matt “Skibz” Parsons, Ryan Hailey, Alen Hansen, Laffy Pants, Mirna Lissette, Mike the Headless Chicken & all of our human & mutant friends & fans.

Dedicated in memory of Toby Silver Cohen

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Radioactive Chicken Heads Los Angeles, California

Not your average band of poultry punks and giant mutant vegetables, the Radioactive Chicken Heads are rapidly spreading their genetically modified rock 'n' roll across the world...Beware, if you are reading this, you may have already been contaminated.

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